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Barney Stinson
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Basic Information
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Added by Ang dName: Barney Stinson
Age: 28
Sign: Scorpio (Nov. 11)
Occupation: Corporate drone and suit monkey.
Series: How I Met Your Mother
Canon: Mid-2nd season (after 2.07 - Swarley (Crazy Eyes))
Paraversary: February 14, 2009
Room Number: 709
Handwriting: Here
Journal: bro_codebreaker
Mun: User:Ang_d
AppearanceEdit
Barney keeps his personal appearance as impeccable as possible - clean-shaven, with neatly trimmed dirty blonde hair. 99% of the time, he favors tailored suits with nicely matching shirts and ties, but will dress for whatever the occasion allows, and always with what he considers the pinnacle of style. (Note: Barney Stinson's pinnacle of style will not always match the general populace... he's shown up to a soccer game in a coordinated track suit and a terrycloth headband.)
SkillsEdit
- Good at sleight-of-hand: card tricks, making things disappear and reappear, small effect magic (flash powder).
- Accomplished pianist - has been known to play everything from classical to Crocodile Rock.
- Speaks Chinese and Spanish fluently, according to canon.
- Has a somewhat high tolerance for alcohol.
- Sings very well - at least, when he's mostly sober.
- Is good at video editing (see his video resume.)
RoomEdit
Barney's redecorated his room to be just like his apartment back in New York: slightly spartan and modern, but with a very distinct "man-vibe". He's had the Castle split it into two rooms - a living room and a bedroom. His bookcases have more DVDs in them than books (and two shelves of it are porn), and he's decked out one wall with a large flatscreen TV. He's got various posters and memorabilia related to stage magic up, here and there, and despite being a Man's Man, Barney's room is immaculately clean - no piles of junk or laundry. There's also, for some reason, a life-sized model of an Imperial Stormtrooper standing guard next to his window.
His space at Paradisa is a little smaller than his original apartment, but here's what it looked like, back home, for reference: Living Room Bedroom. And if you'd like the guided tour, you can see that over here.
PersonalityEdit
To be brief, there is no way of being brief about Barney Stinson. He is a legend in his own mind, and will go out of his way to tell you so. He is overconfident to the point of hyperbole, and as far as he's concerned, his opinion is not just the best: it's the ONLY one that counts. He makes it a point to be the life of the party ... and if there isn't a party, he'll find a way to make one, and make it "Legen ... wait for it ... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of the word is ... dary!" Barney is an insufferable womanizer, though whether it stems from a fear of committment or a simple disdain is debatable. However, if someone he considers a friend is having relationship troubles, he will go out of his way to tell them exactly how they should be resolved. He's also fiercely loyal to the people he earmarks as his friends - even if they may not reciprocate the sentiment. (Never mind that his loyalty may show itself in strange, underhanded ways: he once helped Marshall reunite with Lily by undermining Marshall every time he tried to go out with another girl.) He's also a born performer, fond of karaoke, sleight of hand, and showing off whenever there's a piano present. He hates seeing anyone upset or depressed, though he won't outwardly say so - instead, he'll go to some ludicrous end to cheer them up - including mocking them until they lose their temper, and end up laughing about it afterwards. If anyone calls him on it, he'll just wave it off with a "No need to thank me - I'm just that awesome".
Underneath all his ego and bluster, Barney is a sensitive and very self-conscious person ... very, very, VERY far underneath. He's buried the sensitive, long-haired hippie he used to be under several layers of expensive suits and swagger, and if it ever shows up briefly, he'll cover it up immediately afterwards. It could be said that Barney Stinson wants to keep the party spinning around him constantly so that he won't have to stop and think about how fleeting it all is. He lives in the moment, and if he's robbed of that moment, he's nothing.
Since his arrival in Paradisa, however, a lot of the crazy times in the castle have started to soften him back up. He's lost and regained friends, both to temporary death and to Paradisa sending them home. He's starting to actually share more with some of his Bros, and be a little more honest about himself - though he'll still be quick to either bluster over it afterwards, or tell them to pretend the moment never happened.
LossesEdit
PermanentEdit
His memories of his best friend and "wingman", Ted Mosby.
TemporaryEdit
- Spent a couple of weeks regressed to the state of mind he had in college, but with his current memories. That is to say, he acted like a neo-hippie and generally weirded people out.
- Turned into a meerkat for a week, prior to the Bachelor Auction.
- Spent two weeks convinced that he was a gangster smuggling illegal Colombian coffee, complete with a gang: Lily "Lil the Bill" Erickson, Paul Smecker, Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV, Ianto Jones, and Newton Pulsifer.
CanonEdit
HistoryEdit
Because of the nature of his canon (shown in a series of flashbacks) Barney's history isn't linear... what has been shown up until his point of arrival in Paradisa isn't exactly his whole history. Not too much is known about his life before he came to New York. He grew up with a single mother, just as prone to swapping out significant others as her son would be, later in life. His half-brother James, is black, and happily married to another man, yet the two of them are thick as thieves. Barney has no idea who his real father is, but it doesn't seem to bother him too much, most of the time.
The most that's known of Barney before the months in New York he's spent with Ted, Robin, and the others is his first year out of college. Barney Stinson was a different man, then ... to be blunt, the boy was a hardcore hippie. He wore his hair long, favored tie dye shirts, and played the keyboard at a coffee shop where he worked with the love of his life, Shannon. The two of them were going to join the Peace Corps and go to Nicaragua, but Shannon dumped him inexplicably at the last minute, for a smooth-talking, crass, rich guy in a suit. One haircut and tailor fitting later, Barney had covered up his broken heart with a pinstriped suit of armor, armed himself with catchphrases and a thick layer of charm, and never looked back. By the time he met Ted & the others, five years later, his new persona was firmly in place, and the old Barney was completely gone.
(More to be added, once the mun catches up on canon.)
RelationshipsEdit
- Ted Mosby -- Ted is (well, was, due to his Loss) Barney's best friend. Never mind that it isn't reciprocal (Ted considers Marshall his BFF) - Barney's on Ted like white on rice. They met in a bathroom at a slightly upscale restaurant, where Barney roped Ted into pretending to be his deaf brother so that he could pick up a girl. Afterwards, Barney promised Ted that he would "teach him how to live", and shouldered his way into his life. Since then, Ted became Barney's go-to guy, his "wingman" ... and it's a position he's looking eagerly for someone to fill the shoes of in Paradisa.
- Marshall Erickson -- A college graduate still working on studying for his law degree, Marshall's engaged to Lily, and was occasionally in on Barney's crazy 'legendary' schemes, just for the fun of it.
- Lily Aldrin -- Marshall's fiancee, Lily's a kindergarten teacher who's just as likely to act as the gang's voice of reason as she is to join in on the fun. She never approved of Barney's womanizing, but still counted him as a friend.
- Robin Scherbatsky -- Robin's a reporter for a tiny, unlauded local news channel, Metro News One. She walks a fine line between being a tomboy one minute, and a girly girl the next, and has way too much in common with Barney - though while he just goes through girls like there's no tomorrow, she's just against marriage at the moment. Robin's Ted's on-again, off-again girlfriend ... and during the on-again moments, Barney found himself trying harder and harder not to act jealous. Nothing had come of their friendship before Barney came to Paradisa, though not for a lack of trying on his part. Since his Loss of his best friend, Robin's the one Barney misses the most.
ParadisaEdit
Barney arrived in Paradisa after falling off a table at McLaren's and hitting his head. He was trying to impress a trio of Russian college exchange students, and, as usual, failed miserably. (This was written as one of Barney's writing samples, and can be found here.
HistoryEdit
Barney's first day in Paradisa was somewhat uneventful - he met Neku and Spike, both of whom explained to him, to a small extent, where he was and what had happened. Upon discovering his journal, he struck up conversations with Raine Sage, Jude Feeny, and Reno, who helped him realize his Loss: that he'd had a wingman back home, but no idea who it was. This distressed him more than he wants to readily admit to anyone, so to cover it up, he decided to go out and meet as many people as possible. Five friends you can remember are better than one you can't, right?
When Triela arrived in Paradisa, Barney served as her personal welcome wagon, taking her into town so they could both explore the area, and put her as much at ease as a fellow newbie could. However, the uneasy feeling accompanying the Dead Space plot had already begun to spread, so Barney turned up his excitement and charm doubly, to cover it up.
When everyone in the castle started to tweak out, Barney took it on himself to form an Awesomeness Committee, to combat the uneasiness. He was still working out the details and an "official mission statement", when the effects of the Dead Space plot kicked in completely. The plot really messed with him, making him realize just how much he missed his friends back home - especially Robin. Knowing that one of his new friends died in the attacks didn't help matters any more than having to fight in the attack on the Library did, and the whole thing left him pretty traumatized. To compensate, the Castle kicked him into his first loss: he spent two weeks as a neo-hippie, looking and acting the way he did back when he was in college, before he met the gang back in New York.
Now that his loss has worn off, Barney's still quietly recovering, keeping most of his worries about the Castle to himself, and taking things as they come. A lot of the initial friends he's made have gone home, and that upsets him, but he's taken it upon himself to just make new friends, and be someone to help the newbies adjust to the craziness... and turn it into awesome.
A lot's happened since the Dead Space plot - friends have gone home, new friends have arrived, but Barney's still fostering the Awesomeness Committee. He's also taken it upon himself to reconstruct a copy of his sacred Bro Code and edit in extra articles that pertain specifically to Paradisa, its losses, and its world changes. He's also inherited a coffee shop near the Art District, The WildKat, and has been keeping himself busy with making that run smoothly.
Also, after Zora was sent home by the castle, Barney dug himself up out of the blue funk that resulted by resolving to build the Awesomeness Committee a proper headquarters that would be a constant reminder to himself that the bachelor's way was the only way, so he's constructed To The Nines on the ninth floor.
Year two was equally full of crazy ... he spent his Paraversary on Valentine's Day shooting Jilly Coppercorn with Cupid's arrows. When the castle sent them all to Los Angeles, his two weeks were spent in glorious luxury as a talent agent for a modeling company, and once things got back to normal, Lily arrived, and there was much awesomeness to be had. Things weren't meant to stay legendary forever, though. In July, he died - sacrificed by Faye to the Godhood while she was affected by the events of the Berserk Plot. He still bears the scar of the sacrificial brand on the back of his right hand, faintly. During the high school plot, he was mostly a slacker - until Lily got possessed by the alien symbiote, and then he konked her on the back of the head to keep her from infecting him. He also designed a giant carbon molecule monument with Billy, and set up a kissing booth for Christmas, among several other awesome shenanigans.
So far, year three's seen him go on a gangster loss, sing up a storm on April Fools' Day (four songs! woot!), hire a new crop of WildKat staff, and most importantly, deal with the arrival of Ted, his forgotten BFF. He managed to make it a whole five months without spilling the loss beans, but now the cat is out of the bag... He's also finally managed to get his wingman mojo back, and had quite a few memorable flings with some of the castle ladies, and hosted the traditional We Fucked The Fuckers party after the Riful plot, at Caritas.
RelationshipsEdit
People Who've Gone HomeEdit
- Triela -- Triela's not the first person Barney met, but she's the one he's interacted with the most. He's already sort of decided that he's her unspoken big brother, and taken a liking to her. How can you not like a girl who came from a place where everyone there was essentially part of a supersecret bodyguard squad? She's his own Charlie's Angel.
- Neku Sakuraba -- One of the first people Barney met. He calls him his 'little bro' and holds him in a high enough respect, mostly because he seems pretty cool for a kid, and listens to good music. He's come back since he left, but it's kind of weird for Barney, so he's mostly been keeping his distance.
- Jude Feeny -- The first fellow New Yorker Barney met, even though he was from the 60s. They had drinks a couple of times, and Barney was going to make him his wingman, until he left.
- Xander Harris -- Became an official bro after a round of journal karaoke at the start of the Dead Space plot. Eye of the Tiger FTW!
- Angela Petrelli -- He thought he was showing a newbie around, but it turned out Angela was just on a loss as her younger self. It weirded him out a little, but he stayed in touch afterwards.
- Zora Khyber -- Oh, Zora. Where to begin? Well, let's start with Barney hitting on her mercilessly and in the cheesiest fashion available. Then, let's mention how Zora told him she was a hermaphrodite, and not really into guys, so much, anymore. Have that lead to "well, you're awesome anyway, so you can be one of my Bros", the two of them start getting close and sharing histories, and then throw in one freak-out over her well-being during the Cabot mass murder plot. Cover that with a rather mellow aftermath in Zora's room with some second-hand pot smoke and classic rock, and ... Barney started getting a little conflicted about his "just friends" decision. When he was signed up for the Bachelor Auction in September '09, Ianto hatched a plot with Zora to have her bid on him and win ... and by the end of the night they'd both managed to 'fess up that they cared about each other. He had a really good thing going for the next couple of months, and even took care of her during a mermaid loss ... until she got sent home at the onset of the holiday season. Merry Christmas, Barney.
- * James Tiberius Kirk -- This guy was a Bro from day one, when he arrived his second time. Barney's promised to be his wingman and help acclimate him to "past" culture.
Barney's GirlsEdit
- Raine Sage -- Raine's the one that tipped him off to his favorite castle law yet: if you ask for it, it will come. Well, most of the time. So far he's mostly used it for food.
- Claire Bennett -- He tried to hit on her a few times, but the combination of being shot down and finding out how old she was put an end to that. Now they just party together on occasion, and he keeps tabs on her once in a while.
- Yamanaka Ino -- Ino's another friend who'd be a Bro were she not, in fact, a chick, and a little in the dark about the whole Bro Code. She's got a fun attitude, though, and he never minds shooting the breeze with her... especially now that he knows she makes a great hangover cure.
- Jilly Coppercorn -- Barney really, really likes Jilly ... she reminds him a lot of Lily, a little bit of Robin, and a little bit of Zora. Which is a dangerous combination. After a very botched attempt with an arrow on Valentine's Day in 2010, though, he's decided to just keep that to himself, though.
- Lily Aldrin -- HOORAY, someone from home finally arrived! She brought a full and complete revelation of his loss along with her, though, so while Barney's glad to have her around, it's weird hearing stories about someone he's supposedly known for years and can't remember.
The Awesomeness CommitteeEdit
((See the Awesomeness Committee HQ for a full list of those allowed inside To The Nines.))
Barney's BrosEdit
- Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan (Lorne) -- Barney's unofficial brother. They met during the defense of the Library, during the Dead Space plot, and Barney decided he reminded him an awful lot of his brother, James. Naturally, right after this, Lorne had to go and die defending the roof, so that went really well. After he came back, though, Barney was quick to go make sure everything was okay.
- Anthony J. Crowley -- "But Crowley, I'M your best friend!" ... Barney's made himself an unofficial Faildemon In Training, whether he wants to admit it or not. He's glad to have Crowley as a guy to trade prank stories with, and both of them pretend to be complete bastards and not give a crap about each other or anyone else, when they both know they're both completely full of it. It works for them.
- Ianto Jones -- Ianto initially offered to help Barney find a wingman, but they've turned out to be each other's closest confidantes. They tend to do their bonding over beer and chip butties (Barney likes his with ranch dressing).
Outside LinksEdit
- How's my driving?
- Entries in Paradisa
- Mun's post of Every Thread Ever for the current month
- Barney's page on Wikipedia
Created and edited by Ang d 20:27, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
