Catelyn Stark was born a Tully of Riverrun. Their House words, “Family, Duty, Honor,” define her motivations perfectly. Unlike many of the characters in the show and in the books, she has no desire whatsoever to play “the game of thrones.” She honestly doesn’t care who sits on the Iron Throne (although she has her opinions on who would make a better ruler); she doesn’t want power for herself. Above all else, she wants to do right by her family and those whom she cares about.
In the very beginning of the series, she’s seriously upset by her husband, Eddard (Ned) Stark leaving Winterfell to act as the Hand of the King in King’s Landing. This would not only involve him leaving (and taking their two daughters with him), but also places him in considerable danger since they have reason to believe that the last Hand of the King was murdered. He does leave and she understands and arguably respects his reasons, even if she doesn’t like it at all. Her devotion to family does not always lead to hesitancy and a tendency towards inaction, however. Her second youngest son, Bran, is thrown from a tower and this single incident, more than any other, spurs her into action for the rest of the first season. At first, she collapses into her grief, staying by Bran’s side constantly and even neglecting her duties as Lady of Winterfell.But when an assassin is sent to kill Bran, who is still unconscious, everything changes. She is in the room at the time and, although she is unarmed, she fights him off with an amazing ferocity. She grabs his dagger with her bare hands, cutting her down to the very bones and even bites his hands. Eventually, Summer, Bran’s direwolf kills the assassin, but had he not she undoubtedly would have continued to fight him until one of the two died. After this, she decides to ride into King’s Landing herself to warn her husband. This may seem like a simple task, but it must be understood that this is no short and safe ride and, if her suspicions are correct, she is riding into a city filled with the very people who plot to murder the king, murdered the last Hand, and attempted to murder her son.
Love for and dedication to her family is also always placed before her own personal desires. For instance, at one point, Robb, her oldest son, is leading an army against the Lannisters and the Baratheons and captures Jamie Lannister, the very man who pushed Bran out of a window (which left him crippled). Jamie taunts Catelyn, mocking her for her widowhood, making sexual remarks, and even admitting that he was the one who crippled Bran, saying that he intended to kill him. She has a rock and she strikes him with it, threatening to “pack his head in a box and send it to [his] sister.” And she wants to. She truly does. But she doesn’t because his sister, Cersi Lannister, still holds her daughters hostage at King’s Landing and killing Jamie would forfeit their safety. Her family is more important than the personal satisfaction that she would gain by killing him.
This extreme dedication also leads directly to what is, perhaps, Catelyn’s greatest fault; once her trust has been earned, it is extremely difficult to lose it, which leads to her making some less than wise decisions. For example, Lord Baelish (AKA Littlefinger) was a childhood friend, a ward of her father’s, and even once fought for her hand (he lost, obviously). However, he is also a sneaky, unscrupulous man who works towards his own ends. Despite the fact that she has not seen him in years, she believes him immediately when he tells her that the dagger the assassin used to attempt to kill Bran belonged to Tyrion Lannister. She goes so far as to capture him and take him to her sister’s fortress to face justice. She is blinded to the fact that Littlefinger’s suggestion really doesn’t make sense- as Tyrion points out “What sort of imbecile would arm an assassin with his own dagger?” Because, in her mind, Littlefinger is a friend and the Lannisters are enemies, Tyrion is obviously the less trustworthy one. Similarly, she is extremely shocked (and disgusted) to discover how her sister has deteriorated. She is slower to realize the full extent of the problem than she probably should have been, simply because it is difficult for her to imagine her sister being irresponsible, undutiful, and, frankly, a little mad. She has been able to trust her in the past, so it’s hard for Cat to see that she can no longer do so.
Which is not to say that she is stupid. Indeed, she makes several extremely important contributions to Robb (her oldest son’s) war effort. She advises him on tactical moves and makes an important negotiation with Lord Frey in order to allow her son’s troops to move across his lands. She also is able to see a message sent by Sansa (her oldest daughter) for what it truly is- a message from Cersei Lannister, the queen. She knows the ways of war and, although as a woman she cannot fully participate and make final decisions, she is a good person to consult and will give her opinions freely.
Despite being rather opinionated, she is careful to never undermine Robb’s authority in front of his men. She is respectful and restrained, careful to treat him as a lord until they are alone- then she will treat him as her son. For this reason, not many people see the emotional side of Cat. Even when she hears of Ned’s death, she manages to leave Robb’s war camp and find an empty spot in the woods before collapsing in tears- and even that does not last long because she comes across Robb and the focus shifts to comforting him. So, to an uninvolved party, Cat may appear polite, but emotionally distant. This is not exactly true. It is true that if you are not someone she cares for, she is largely indifferent; given the circumstances in Westros, it’s just not wise to become emotionally invested in a lot of people- it’s dangerous and probably will lead to nothing but pain. For her family and old friends however, Cat is extremely invested. As discussed above, her family drives her forward throughout the story. Conversely, she is also shown to hold grudges for any extremely long time and for reasons that are not exactly logical. Jon Snow is Ned’s bastard son, who Ned brought home from war around the same time Robb was born. Catelyn never stopped resenting Jon as a reminder of Ned’s infidelity. Unlike her children, with whom she is obviously and openly affectionate, she is nothing but cold and distant to Jon, sometimes descending into outright hostility, usually in moments of extreme emotional disturbance. While this is hardly an admirable trait, it does further demonstrate how deeply Cat actually feels things. She is a woman of strong emotions, but with a stronger sense of duty, obligation, and honor, especially when it comes to her family.