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John Egbert
Contents |
Basics
Edit
Character John Egbert
Fandom MS Paint Adventures: Homestuck
Journal Dupable
Canon In the middle of Act 5 part two, when making a giant wind drill.
Room 318
Lost Ability to say no when people offer him baked goods.
Player Ruru
StatisticsEdit
Age 13
Height Short/5'(?)
Weight Skinny/95 lbs (?)
Hair Black
Eyes Blue
Sexuality Heterosexual
See Also: Action Survivor,Adorkable, Arbitrary Skepticism, Badass Adorable, Blow You Away, Crouching Moron Hidden Badass, Cute Bruiser, Does Not Like Spam, Drop The Hammer, The Fool, Genius Ditz, Horrible Judge Of Character, Lovable Nerd, Messianic Archetype, Mighty Glacier, The Movie Buff, Nerd Glasses, Nice Guy, Oblivious to Love and Hate, The Pollyanna, Power Glows, Super Strength, Trickster Archetype, Unwitting Pawn, Weirdness Censor
BackgroundEdit
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LOL LOL LOL OOPS apocalypse. :B
PersonalityEdit
John is, without a doubt, the most normal of his group of friends. Then again, his friends consist of an extraordinarily loquacious thirteen year old girl, a narcissistic wannabe rapper, and another girl who sees the future in her dream clouds, so that doesn’t really speak volumes for John’s normality. Still, he’s a nice, decently average kid, who cares for his friends and family and just wants to do the right thing.
One of John’s biggest problems is that his niceness actually gets him in trouble from time to time. It’s general accepted by everyone who knows him that John is a total pushover weenie, and will go along with whatever you tell him to do (unless, ironically, what you’re telling him to is actually for his own safety). John is almost disturbingly naïve and trusting though. For example, when one of the trolls (a group of alien kids who had before just been harassing John and his friends and making their lives a living hell) told him to let her help, he caved in a matter of minutes and followed her instructions. Unfortunately this led to his death in an alternate time line. Fortunately his friend Dave had acquired time travel powers in that time line, and went back in time to stop him from being an idiot.
Idiotic tendencies aside, John is a great friend and friendship means a lot to him. In Homestuck you get the chance to see the birthday letters he writes to all of his friends. Not only are they full of sappy compliments and mention of how he appreciates them all, but he also seems to be pretty good at seeing past his friend’s ruses to some of their root problems. Really, despite appearances, John is a fairly bright kid. He might not be a very good programmer, and he might have a bad tendency to describe things in literal ways (those red arm flappy things on mailboxes), but it doesn’t mean he’s altogether dim and unobservant.
He does had a bad habit of overreacting to silly things at times. For example, John hates baked goods. We’re talking Hate with a capital H here. His father’s love of constant baking has led his son with a weird aversion to thinks most kids would be ecstatic to get (cookies, cakes, etc…). As a result, there are a few times where he becomes so wrapped up in fighting against his battery foe that he loses track of everything else going on around him. Once he even had a small mental break down when he found out that Gushers (his favorite food) was owned by the heinous Betty Crocker company.
John’s also a bit of a joker. He likes to do silly tricks like putting on silly disguises, or the old “bucket above the door” gag. All of his pranks are harmless, and often times a bit on the stupid side. Still, John seems to find them hilarious, and cracks himself up. He keeps a couple books and lots of gag items in his possession, or did before the apocalypse came.
Which is the final point that should be mentioned. John and his friends are currently engaged in a game where they’re fighting for their lives against an unstoppable apocalypse. They’re constantly being reassured of their inevitable failure, no matter how hard they work, but each and every one of the kids refuses to sit back and just let it happen. However, it John’s case, despite impending doom he still seems to find time to do things like screw around with science (and through some very obtuse ways actually create his friends and their parents) or reenact terrible scenes from his favorite bad movie.
The More You KnowEdit
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John Based TriviaEdit
+ John can do the windy thing! IE the ridiculously overpowered ability to control the wind.
+ John is much stronger than your average 13 year old could feasibly be.
+ John REALLY loves cliche to outright bad movies.
+ John loves pulling pranks.
+ John is basically immortal. No, I'm serious, there are only two specific scenarios in which he can die.
+ John hates baked goods.
John's Sylladex ThingyEdit
John's Sylladex is basically his inventory system. Much like in video games where characters can randomly pick up items they wouldn't believably be able to carry in a backpack, John's sylladex allows him to tote around a ridiculous number of items he wouldn't normally be able to comfortably carry on his persons. The Sylladex can even keep items as large as a car... No, seriously. John can basically walk around with a car in his back pocket if he wants to.
For a more in-depth look at Sylladexs, look at the Sylladex systems described here.
Just in case you're wondering, John uses a weird hodgepodge of the Queue, Stack and Array style.
ParadisaEdit
+ He arrived asleep in the castle
+ Shortly after Dave showed up, followed later by Rose.
+ The castle turned into a high school infested by brain slugs. Dave was one of the victims, and held John hostage for a short while. John helped take out the slug queen, and everything went back to normal.
+ Rose left.
+ Things were pretty relaxed for John for awhile, and friends from home started showing up including Karkat, Kanaya, Vriska and Jade, plus Aradia who he started to get to know!
+ Slenderman appeared and began kidnapping kids. Karkat and Vriska were some of the first to go. Jade and John were kidnapped together, and when trapped in Slenderman's world John helped organize the kids into setting up traps for Slenderman. Eventually the adults busted through the barrier, and all the kids were able to make it out alive.
+ John, unhappy with how powerless he was against Slenderman, asked Vriska to knock him out so he could get a canon bump. It worked and a few days later he woke up stronger than ever.
LossEdit
RelationshipsEdit
Back HomeEdit
HumansEdit
Dad John's dad. Just a normal business guy. Kind of boring. That revelation was traumatizing to John. His dad is always supportive of his son, and tries to cater to his whims. Unfortunately he doesn't always seem to know what his son actually wants/likes.
Dave Strider John's bro. Dave is a really cool dude. Even if John likes to poke fun at him sometimes, and gets into more than his fair share of arguments with the guy, Dave always has his back, and vice versa.
Jade Harley John's friend and his sister! She's definitely the sweetest of John's friends, even if she's probably the one that needs the most looking out for by John's logic anyways. John will do whatever it takes to protect her and keep her safe.
Rose Lalonde John's friend. She's ridiculous smart, and loves to psychoanalyze people. While John doesn't always appreciate that second part, he respects and cares for Rose a lot. John and Rose were the ones that initially kicked off this crazy end of the world game thing.
TrollsEdit
Aradia Megido Fairy troll! She has wings, which is kind of weird, but also kind of neat. John likes her so far, she seems really nice.
Eridan Ampora Has the potential to wig out and go crazy? Too bad, he's fun to troll, but John feels like he has to back off the guy slightly since Kanaya seems worried about him.
Equius Zahhak Blood obsessed troll, but also Nepeta's best friend?? He seems okay despite his weird tendency to bark orders at people.
Feferi Peixes BRB, never met.
Gamzee Makara This guy is so chill. This guy is like scarily chill! Especially considering the fact that he's a psychopath in disguise. He seems nice enough, but John is really wary.
Kanaya Maryam Talked to her from Rose's account while pretending to be Rose once. Also had a conversation with her long before then. John thought she seemed pretty friendly back then, and sticks to this opinion now that they've gotten to know each other in Paradisa a little better.
Karkat Vantas Probably the most helpful of the trolls. This guy claimed he and John were going to be friends, and while John called BS on it at first, the two did manage to strike up a pretty strong friendship. He provided John with most of his exposition early on in the game before Vriska took over that job. Also he apparently had a hate crush on John at one point that John totally rejected. Not that he knows that yet! Whoops!
Nepeta Leijon A troll that seems to like cat puns. John didn't really talk to her back home, but he has a few times at Paradisa. She was actually there when he woke up from his coma, and kind of freaked him out by pretending she was going to cut into his brain!! She's really nice though.
Tavros Nitram A troll that can talk to animals. John didn't really talk to him back home, but he's gotten to know the guy pretty well at Paradisa and considers him a friend. The trolls are surprisingly much nicer than he thought they were at first!
Terezi Pyrope Got him killed in an alternate future? She was helpful after that though, and drew him a crappy nice map to get him to Rose's world.
Vriska Serket Talked to him a long time ago. Made death threats on him. They have become friends by now, and John is something of a confidant for her. She told him about her past killing, and they had a long moral discussion on that outside of all their talks about the game. Also she likes Nick Cage, so that's automatic awesome! She even helped him gain all the levels and reach God Tier. Might have a slight crush on her but he isn't sure! Bluh, romance is confusing.
...OtherEdit
Davesprite Future Dave from an alternate time line. He went back in time to stop John from getting himself killed by listening to a troll's advice. He really appreciates this guy!
Nanna John's grandmother but kind of sort of his biological mother... she died when he was a baby, but came back to life sort of when he prototyped her ashes by accident and made her his guide in the medium.
ParadisaEdit
FriendsEdit
Asano Rin Met her while troping. She apparent ran into Rose before meeting the boys! John was also one of her roommates during the school craziness, and handed the alien samples he found next to Hardison over to her. He also went and hung out with her in the dead zone while she was going through a rough patch. She's got to be one of the nicest people John knows.
Combat Instructor Alleyne An elf lady with healing fairy jizz! She was trying to watch after the kids before the Slenderman stuff. She willingly sits through John's awful movies 8)
Coraline Jones A girl that woke him up and welcomed him to Paradisa on John's first day. He's run into a few times since, and she's remained pretty awesome the entire time. He hung out with her at the school dance too, since neither of them had anything better to do. Coraline was one of the biggest helps in planning traps against Slenderman, in fact, the traps were her idea!
Ivan They met when they were both stuck as cats. Ivan can apparently talk to animals, which is really awesome, and watches movies with John which is pretty much the definition of awesome.
Jessica Drew (Spider-Woman) Met her when he and Dave were troping, met her again when he found Hardison passed out in the shower and needed to take him to the hospital. He spent a lot of time with her during the whole crazy alien invasion shenanigans, and she sort of saved his life. She's just outright awesome :) Also NERDS UNITE!!
Yukiko Amagi A girl John met when he was poking around the entrance to the extreme plot. She's a nice, and even accepted the throwaway present John gave, because he didn't want it, while acting like it was actually something nice. She's also been pretty helpful with explanations.
AcquaintancesEdit
Alec Hardison One of his roommates during the alien/school business. John found him passed out in the shower and helped to rush him to the hospital. Hardison didn't make it, but came back a couple weeks later and seemed fine. Of course he left, but he's back now and John needs to check up on the guy and see how life is going for him!
Allen Walker The guy who was trying to rush Ino off to the hospital when John and the gang ran across them while trying to save Hardison. Seems like a nice guy.
Alma Karma A kind of easily upset kid John met during the EXTREME plot. Didn't get his name.
Barbara Gordon A woman who he road on the roller coaster with. She tried to sacrifice herself for him when she thought they were going to plunge into lava. Didn't get her name.
Barney Stinson The guy knew how to materialize safes full of hamburgers and appreciated John and Dave's troping. Pretty boss.
Billy (Dr. Horrible) A guy who found a creepy alien specimen. One that eventually started trying to help take over the school and nearby town. Whoops.
Buffy Summers Action chick?
Carl Clover A kid who was captured by Slenderman. He fights with puppets.
Clark Kent Road with him on the roller coaster. Didn't get his name. He was John's science teacher at school though!
Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV Met her during the EXTREEEEEEME plot. Though he kind of things she's a guy. She cheered him on through the obstacle course, and he did the same for her.
Eleventh Doctor Stayed in his phonebooth spaceship for awhile during the Slenderman stuff. He made a promise to John that he would get all the kids out of Slenderman's world safely, and he managed to keep his promise. :)
Emil A kid who was stuck in Slenderman's world with him. He normally turns people to stone by looking at him (Gorgon style!!), but he's really nice. He helped John set up traps for Slenderman.
Gino Weinberg Tall noodly looking fellow.
Gosalyn Malard A duck girl with an awesome robot suit! John needs to find out where she got that from.
Jilly Coppercorn A girl who found a creepy alien specimen. One that eventually started trying to help take over the school and nearby town. Whoops. She tried to cheer John up after Dave got taken over by one and attacked him. She also was one of the adults working the hardest to keep the kids safe during the Slenderman business. John tried to help out her survey.
Kaikaina 'Sister' Grif A woman in armor with no sense of appropriateness. Seriously, she calls kids "bitches" it's bizarre.
Kate Kane Badass looking redhead chick who seemed awesomely chill.
Mihama Chiyo A girl John woke up so she didn't fall over and hit her head when she fell asleep sitting up. Didn't get her name.
Minato Arisato Gotta have blue hair...
Nanako Dojima A little girl that was stuck in Slenderman's world. She seemed really scared, but she helped everyone set up traps for the guy.
Naoto Shirogane What gender are youuuuu??
Nico di Angelo Kid stuck in Slenderman's world. He apparently fights with swords, like Dave. He was one of the kids to agree to help fight off Slenderman.
Pharos A kid stuck in Slenderman's world. He seemed to err on the cautious side, which John can't fault him for.
Princess Justinia A really friendly girl who welcomed him to the castle and told him about losses. She promised to look after him if he ever went on one. Turns out they got their chance to do that! She was also one of the people he was trying to keep safe during the Slenderman plot.
Roxas Gravity defying hair!
Tobias A pessimistic kid who was stuck in Slenderman's world. John managed to raise enough moral in him to get him to help create some traps.
Xena Weirdly scary and kickass looking woman.
Yamanaka Ino A ninja! So badass. He also helped bring her to the hospital during the whole alien invasion thing.
DNWEdit
GoneEdit
Amane Misa First ran into her when she mentioned seeing pandas during the EXTREME plot, then ended up in the same roller coaster car with her.
Ash Ketchum Pokemon? Okay, whatever, they're kind of cool looking whatever they are.
Bartholomew Allen II This guy seemed pretty cool. Also he had super speed and likes gushers. That automatically skyrockets you to awesome status.
Bruce Wayne (Batman) Road with him on the roller coaster, and gave John a high-five. Didn't get his name.
Howell 'Howl' Jenkins Well the guy was definitely interesting, if not a little bishonen for John's taste.
Lambdadelta What a weirdo.
Penny A woman that helped him find his journal the first day John showed up at Paradisa. Seems nice!
Puck It's an... elf?
Taokaka First time in his life John has ever been flashed. Oh good lord.
