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Rose Lalonde
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Basics
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Character Rose Lalonde
Fandom MS Paint Adventures: Homestuck
Journal eldritchpsych
Canon The moment in EOA4 in which Rose blows up her first gate
Room 1109
Loss Vocabulary
Player Orngjce223
Age 13
Birthday December 3, 1995 (except for ectobiological shenanigans, which... well...)
Hair Blonde
Eyes Violet
Sexuality Heterosexual, but she's 13 so it doesn't matter terribly much
'Theme Songs Aggrieve (Violin) / Aggrieve; both of which are on Homestuck Volume 1; her Land's theme is Endless Climb
Background/PersonalityEdit
Rose Lalonde is a thirteen-year-old girl, blonde, violet-eyed, of what seems to be French descent. She uses knitting needles and yarn to fight. Honest. She has use of a hammerspace inventory called the Sylladex, which is controlled by a purchaseable access interface called a fetch modus; specifically, she uses Tree, which holds items in a graph structure with a root card and leaf cards; each card holds an item. Suffice it to say, if she grabs the wrong card with intent to get the item out, everything in her inventory crashes down around her head, possibly being damaged in the process. It is, however, elegant and pleasing and that is why Rose doesn't use a more practical method of accessing items.
To put it bluntly, Rose is a child prodigy gone horribly wrong. No, she's not evil - actually, quite the contrary - but she is definitely more than a little paranoid (she often thinks honest actions are meant as passive-aggressive, and reacts accordingly, only for said sarcasm or passive-aggressive behavior to frequently fly over the head of whoever else). She has a secret hobby of creative writing about wizards, and more public interests in psychology and eldritch abominations. She'll sometimes try to psychoanalyze people as a way of getting to know them or otherwise trying to get under their skin. She reads Grimoires, of the Lovecraftian variety, of the zoologically dubious (that come complete with incomprehensible instructions on summoning said horrors).
Rose's mother, who actually adopted Rose upon the latter's seeding on Earth on a meteor after being paradox-cloned in the future (don't ask), is a very rich (and rather alcoholic) woman who works for Skaianet Laboratories, which had some time ago developed various computer languages that could change reality. Rose knows her as "Mom", and evidently believes Mom's every action to be spiteful and passive-aggressive. This stems from an incident in which a four-year-old Rose was attempting to psychoanalyze the family cat, Jaspers (like I said, child prodigy; this was a normal activity for her). Jaspers proceeded to gesture as if to tell young Rose a secret, then promptly disappeared into thin air and washed up on a nearby riverbank, dead. Rose's mother overcompensated and had Jaspers cleaned, stuffed, fitted with a tuxedo, and then held a full funeral for Jaspers, at the end of which he was placed in an infant coffin inside a mausoleum on the edge of their house's rural property. (The story's told from Rose's perspective; whether this is true or not is left up to the reader, although this one believes Mom is genuinely trying to do good by her daughter but something went wrong along the way.) It is believed that this event was what made the impression on Rose that her Mom could do nothing right, and Rose quickly concealed her lifelong longing to meet Jaspers' ghost and ask for his secret under layers of snark and sarcasm.
And then Rose discovered the Internet. Specifically, three of her friends, whom met up with each other in a set of seemingly-spontaneous events (they were actually predestined but again, don't ask). At the time canon starts picking up the story in earnest, the four children are now thirteen-year-old teenagers, the best friends any of them could ever ask for. Rose had been told by her friend Jade Harley that a certain game could resurrect Jaspers, and that the four of them would play it. So Rose, as well as her other friends, all sent away for a free copy of Sburb Beta from Skaianet Laboratories. These copies arrived on April 13. Rose finally connected this game to John, upon which everyone discovered that a) the game was bringing about the end of the world and b) the game also provided a way to escape the end of the world. And c) nobody else on the Internet was smart enough to escape, so Rose wrote a walkthrough, trying to tamp down the purple prose with not very much success.
Rose's house was being threatened by wildfires and her power went out, and Rose proceeded to the mausoleum, picking up the long-stuffed Jaspers and hooking up to the generator to finish the process of saving John from a meteor. The generator died soon enough (at least John was saved); the forest continued to burn, and for some reason Mom used a secret keypad to open a passage under the mausoleum. Rose used this passage to proceed to the nearby branch of Skaianet Laboratories, in which through a series of events she obtained a "hub" that supplied unlimited power and internet access, and then saw a large terminal on which she observed the size of all meteors set to impact the Earth and on which she observed that the four largest impacts of all were those over the locations of all four children. One of the many gadgets in the room sent her back to what she'd assumed was her MOM's bedroom (actually a giant liquor room) back in the house, and after a series of dramatic and totally irrelevant events Rose, too, was saved from the meteor by Dave.
This sent her to the Medium, specifically a planet called the Land of Light and Rain, with iridescent oceans, white-sand islands with pink ruins, shimmering yellow-pink rainclouds, and rainbow rain. (Contrary to her cultivated persona and interest in the occult, she actually liked the place.) The process also turned the stuffed Jaspers into a "kernelsprite", a game construct which would dispense advice and provide assistance. This provided Rose the long-awaited opportunity to talk to Jaspersprite, who, when asked about said secret, replied "MEOW".
Another series of dramatic and totally irrelevant series of events and four months later, in an alternate timeline where John experienced a fatal error in judgement and Jade was unable to connect with a server player in time to escape her meteor, Rose and Dave are alone, beleagured by an infinite stream of game-provided enemies that will kill them if they take a break. Finally Dave uses his slowly-honed time powers in order to go back in time four months and prevent John from being killed - which works and also causes Rose's future dreamself, which has awoken (dramatic and totally irrelevant events), to rubberband back in time with Dave and merge with present Rose, who promptly goes to sleep.
She "awakened" in a lucid and completely real dreamland that is the dark planet of Derse (dramatic and totally irrelevant events), upon which she realized that Jaspers' secret is really a long genetic code and that for all these years she had been scrawling these codes upon her walls in her sleep. The problem is that the discovery of such a thing had always been intended to be a natural process, not to be disrupted by rubberbanding back and forwards in time, so Rose not only still had her psychological baggage (she was supposed to deal with her greatest flaws and only then she would wake her dreamself) but also two sets of memories, the ones of the four-month dead-end timeline being almost as accessible as her usual memories.
As a result, Rose promptly used the item-crafting system (dramatic and totally irrelevant events) to create powerful weapons and decent gear, and just as promptly set off to break the game because it had trapped her in so many hopeless situations. And this is what brings her to blow up her first gate and - a fraction of a second after she is whisked off and returned, none the wiser, by the Consortium of a_facility - whisked off by the Castle. Apparently both organizations have a great interest in grabbing this girl at one of her more emotionally volatile moments.
SylladexEdit
Rose has use of a Sylladex, which is basically a programmable hyperspace inventory (sold by Skaianet, presumably). Hers is Tree, and not terribly controllable - but again, it looks nice, and it keeps her items safe regardless of what she's going through. You don't jump over a burning falling tree with a violin in hand, but if it's in a sylladex card there's no risk. Except the risk of getting burnt yourself, but that one was kind of obvious.
Sylladex cards can be "plucked" into being, and are insubstantial when in use and when not in use.
ParadisaEdit
LossEdit
Rose is a writer. Specifically, she loves writing florid fanfiction about wizards using vocabulary that makes the spelling bee champions quake in their boots, in prose so purple it's unreadable. So she becomes unable to use the top portion of her vocabulary - she can still read it, there's no point restricting that, but she can't write/speak/think the most obscure of words anymore. Names are untouched, as are specifically-taught technical terms (such as the ones used for violin technique and the item crafting system in the game she'd been pulled out of).
RelationshipsEdit
Back HomeEdit
HumansEdit
Mom Rose's single mother. Filthy rich, works for Skaianet Labs (which produces Sburb). Rose hates her mother, regularly goes for passive-aggressive combat with her, etc. etc. There's probably more in there - Mom fights with a laser gun for some reason - but it's not terribly relevant; the fact that Rose believes her mother's every action to be passive-aggressive combat is the main issue here.
Dave Strider One of Rose's best friends, the dude who drops sick beats and irony like other people drop names. She enjoys verbally sparring with him, but is still fiercely devoted to the dude who is all but her brother.
John Egbert Another one of Rose's best friends, the kind of best friends you'd easily die for, and the one she connected to in the case of initiating the whole end-of-the-world business. Not that she knew about the end-of-the-world business, but whatever. Has a healthy respect for his perceptiveness, if and when it's shown. Which, you know, usually it isn't, so...
Jade Harley And another of Rose's best friends (all via the Internet, of course, not that this has any implications for their closeness, and the four children are very closely bound). This girl is... unusual, but very perceptive and with shades of precognitive behavior. Rose knows her as the group's oracle and prone to ditziness, which she honestly doesn't mind if Jade tells her that the game will revive her old cat so she can ask questions of said cat.
TrollsEdit
Kanaya Maryam Inevitably friends with along course of adventure. Time shenanigans. Don't worry about it.
Other trolls Annoying but verbally sparred with.
ParadisaEdit
Positively associatedEdit
Penny Yes, magic is real. Seems to be curious which is better than having acquaintances who, uh,
Asano Rin Helpful. Provided reference to Raine Sage, which she will find (eventually), and offered to take pictures for a map of the general area.
Mihama Chiyo Yes, a picnic would be lovely and a chance to meet everyone.
Negatively associatedEdit
GoneEdit
Fighting/StyleEdit
She fights using knitting needles which have been alchemized into needlewands called the Thorns of Oglogoth. These wands are powered by the Elder Gods, which are... Eldritch Abominations from the Furthest Ring. (She also communes with them in her sleep. Nobody knows how she's kept her sanity, least of all the mun.) Said wands have most basic functions - levitation, conjuration, summoning of giant bolts of fire/lightning that can be used to kill enemies from several yards away.
Until canon says otherwise, she flies through the air at approximately the speed of sound in a bubble that can be made permeable or impermeable to essentially anything at will, her eldritch bolts have a reach of about fifty yards, and she can conjure most small objects (such as pieces of rope or food and drink; anything that would be smaller than a toaster) even when not directly inside the castle.
